Holpineville

I Should be Swimming at the Pool

But I am tired today (from a long Fourth of July/birthday party yesterday, from starting to give up caffeine, from my pharmacy being out of my thyroid meds, from just being me…) and the kids suddenly seemed just too everything this afternoon: too loud, too bouncy, too smelly, too whiny, too needy.  Plus, I had things I would like to do around here without constant noisy interruption. Rod must have been in better shape than me, because he volunteered to take them swimming alone, and I was not foolish enough to make more than a token protest.

Dear Reader, I feel no small amount of guilt over not updating this here page sooner, but the things that have happened this week have all been rather minor, as you will see when I detail them for you now:  The kids got their hair cut, finally!  I threw up one morning and felt violently ill for about two hours and then I was fine.  Weird, huh?  I broke my favorite coffee mug.  I did a bunch of knitting on a baby sweater for a friend who is due to deliver any minute now.  (However, the weather is such that the baby won't be needing a sweater right away.)  Ruby and I spent a couple of hours cleaning her room today. It’s not the showplace I thought it would be without the clutter, but it’s better.  She wants to redecorate in a Parisian theme, and I am putting her off as much as I possibly can.

Rod was off work all week, and I wish we could say we did all kinds of really exciting family bonding things, but we didn’t.  Rod spent a bunch of time fixing things.  He also built the garden we promised Ruby as a birthday present.  She has a 4x4 raised plot now, with an irrigation system and real live plants: an eggplant, a couple of tomato plants, and a couple of things I don’t remember.  I am sure the 100 degree heat and partly-shady placement of it will make growing things harder than Ruby expects, and yet it is nice to see her so excited about it.  She wants to add flowers to the vegetables, once things settle in a bit.

The kids had space camp on two days, at the actual Johnson Space Center.  There’s got to be more to it, but all I have figured out from what they tell me, is that space camp involves eating junky food for lunch and doing some crafts.  Carl did learn something, because he and I watched the fireworks on TV last night and there was a taped message from some dude on the space station and a shot of mission control and Carl started telling me all about them.  Also last week, Ruby had a piano lesson, and an online Webkinz party with her cousins who live far away.  We went swimming a couple of times. Carl had a playdate with a friend, and took a nice long impromptu car nap one day. We had people over for dinner one night, and trekked out to Chinatown for dinner and grocery shopping another.  Rod and I managed a lunch and museum date one camp day, too.

In the Sudden Signs of Maturity Department: Ruby wanted to play the Monopoly game she got for her birthday yesterday, and to my surprise, it was fun!  She understood and followed the rules, she could do enough math to get by, and she didn’t have a crying freak out when things weren’t going her way.  She’s also been begging to play Uno a couple of times a day, and working on her knitting here and there. I wish I could get her to read more for fun, but there’s been a bit of that, too.  She and Carl have also been playing elaborate games together; role playing or using the stuffed animals, dolls and Legos.  They also put on shows for us often.  And then, just when you think we’ve achieved a certain level of household peace, harmony and ability to self-entertain, they go back to fighting and yelling and begging me to turn on a video for them.  

 

‘Cause I’m a Natural Woman

We camped!  Three nights!  And I had fun!  Really! 

Okay, so it was not exactly roughing it, only a few hundred yards away from a hot (if yucky looking) shower and flush toilets.  The weather was wonderful except when we were close to frozen at night, it was a pretty enough state park, and we found lots to do:  we rode horses!  We rode bikes!  We hiked!  We visited the playground!  We rented a boat!  Carl swam!  (Everyone else was smart enough to stay out of the freezing cold lake.)  The kids played harmoniously together the whole time, and made friends with a girl from the neighboring campsite.  We made a fire and s’mores every night, thereby making sure that I would not burn off one extra calorie the whole trip. 

Even though we all had a great time, and probably we will go again from time to time, camping still seems weirdly fake to me—“let me leave my pampered upper-middle-class existence and go prove I can live without central air…but not without my fancy gear!  And not too far from a flush toilet!”—and I never fail to be impressed by how much hassle it all is.  It took us days of joint effort to plan, shop and pack for it.  We ended up buying more supplies than I thought we would.  Rod barely got everything into and onto his car.  To go when the weather was pleasant during the day and relatively bug free, we had to endure very cold temperatures at night, and even with the ultra deluxe old lady orthopedic camping mattress Rod got me, it was still not a comfy way to sleep.  Imagine me, eyes red from campfire smoke, stabbing pains in my back and legs, huddled into my jacket and three blankets, with one arm pinned between Carl and the cold ground,  the attached exposed hand nearly frozen solid, attempting to will Ruby’s top blanket back onto her body using my brain waves alone, and listening to Rod snore…. Then, there’s all that setting up and taking down, and a giant mountain of laundry to do back at home.

But the days were so nice.  Peaceful, even in a full-up camping area.  Relaxing, mostly.  A good change of pace.

And now we are home, and the kids are at back at school today. I am debating which termite company to hire and dealing with taxes, school committees, errands, summer plans, and many other uninspiring issues.  Rod thinks he’s heading to the UK in a few days, and I am trying to be a brave little soldier about it even though he will be gone at least a week, I’ll bet.  We signed a lease for our rental property, which is a relief.  Of course, it's not my ideal lease, but at least it’ll staunch the financial bleeding for another year.  We’ve been working on little projects around the house and there is another flock of doctor/dentist/etc appointments on the calendar.  The kids have swimming lessons in April, which will suck up a bunch of time.  Writing this all down is not improving my mood.  I think maybe I need a date night?  A fun new project?  (Free) weekend trip?

Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

The birthday:  It was really, really, really good.  Shaun Cassidy did not come to lunch on Friday, but it turned out better: the big secret was that I was getting the ultra-deluxe, super-hygienic mani and pedi, complete with salt scrub in the scent of my choice, paraffin dip, other luxury touches, and bonus margarita, courtesy of my fabulous in-laws, and in the company of some of my best friends of recent years.  Most of whom are already in Club 40 and assured me that it’s fine, better than the 30’s, even.  And lunch after was sublime as well, even without Shaun.

Friday night I worked on our tax return, which was comforting in a “the truth shall set you free” sort of way, and watched a movie courtesy of the library (if you almost never go to the movies, there’s plenty to check out years later).  I found my groove on Saturday.  I was in a really good mood, maybe by sheer force of will, but whatever.  I got to sleep a little late, and then Rod took the kids outside to wrap presents and do projects or something while I took my own sweet time getting clean and dressed.

I got some lovely gifts (thank you!  Thank you!  Really, thank you!) and a bouquet of fruit “flowers” that everyone helped eat at lunch (formal thanks to follow).  Rod had my diplomas framed as a present, which apparently took months, but they are lovely and the sheepskin is no longer rotting away in the garage attic.  Ruby was pretty interested in them; she spent a lot of time asking me what lawyers do and what magna cum laude means, and why Rice’s diplomas are vase-shaped.  And, she made me a beautiful bracelet from wire and hex nuts and other shiny doodads.  Finally….drum roll…..from Rod, I got a framed, autographed Hardy Boys picture.  Yes, Shaun! in all his shaggy seventeen year old beauty (Ruby says he looks like a girl) and Parker Stevenson, too!  All my friends are mighty impressed that Rod would do that for me.

In the afternoon, I got a sappy e-mail from my dad that made me cry, in a good way, Rod hung a bunch of pictures for me, and I spent a while feeling productive, cleaning out some boxes of stuff that have been cluttering up my bedroom.  Don’t laugh; it was good to start a new decade, feeling as if I were making progress on something. 

My big surprise was dinner with a bunch of our friends at this swanky haute cuisine Mexican place.  Rod went to great trouble to arrange it all and keep it more or less a secret.  He even engineered an off-the-menu tres leches birthday cake that was really good.  Most of all, it was my kind of party; festive, with only about as many people as I could deal with at once, and no singing waiters. My friends did make me play charades at the after party, but they did let me pass on the truly hard ones (A Clockwork Orange, (the movie) oh, please!) 

This week, it’s back to regular life.  I’m working on some things for my kids’ school gala, which is next weekend, and our tenants moved out, so I’m coordinating some cleaning and repairs and basically begging everyone who calls about the house to just rent it, trust me, you’ll love it!  Today I hosted three of Carl’s classmates for a play date.  They are all older than he is, but also Lego fanatics, and I figured I should try to encourage Carl’s friendships and I should get to know their moms a bit more.  It all went fine, but it was a production for me to clean up and engineer appropriate snacks and then make chit-chat.  Why is it so hard for me to be social?

Also, today I made reservations for spring break.  Given the current ‘economic uncertainty’ (depressing stock market, weird stuff going on at Rod’s work, our need for a new tenant, some other possible looming expenses), and my general lack of enthusiasm for various options, we decided to stay close to home.  We’re going to go to the Rodeo!  We might hit the indoor water park in Galveston!  We’ll goof around in town!

 And, we’re going camping!  Yes, I am going to brave the great outdoors, and for more than one….more than two…yes, three whole nights in the wilderness!  Well, semi-wilderness; it’s not far.  Can I say that we do not live in a camping-rich part of the world, and yet there are a bazillion options to sort out; it was really hard to decide where to go.   In the end, I picked a park with horses/canoes/bike trails/swimming/fish/playgrounds/showers, and we will see how it goes.  I know it won’t be completely cheap, after horse and canoe rentals, and after I buy a few pieces of gear we need and supplies, but the reservation fee?  I think it will end up being $15 a night.   My frugal self is so very pleased. 

Hilton Corporation Owes Me for This One

We are back from our brief “vacation.”  It was a “vacation,” because Rod took off work and we went to another city and did a bunch of things we might not normally do.  But it’s not a vacation like childless folk take, no sirree.  I remember what that was like, and this wasn’t it. 

If you ask the kids, we went to Embassy Suites for our vacation.  No, it doesn’t matter the city, as long as they get to stay at their favorite hotel chain.  There’s a pool!  There’s a separate room with a pull-out sofa for them!  There’s happy hour with a bartender who makes them Shirley Temples!  There’s a breakfast bonanza: muffins and donuts for Ruby, scrambled eggs and "those hot dogs" (sausage) for Carl! a juice dispenser!  Throw in a couple of trips to “Old McDonald’s” and “the Chili Pepper Place,” and it’s Nirvana.

This time, Carl found the video game alcove on the edge of the hotel feeding area, and his brain will never be the same.  I dread the begging that will ensue when he learns about Nintendo, Wii, or whatever those things are called.  I have trained him to call the games with all the stuffed animals in them “those machines that take your money,” but he lives to watch, touch, and maybe someday (surely!  If he begs enough!?!) even play the games with the levers, steering wheels, guns, flashing lights, etc.

Back to my story.  We were in San Antonio, because, you know, I really wanted to go someplace cooler.  I also thought it would be really nice to go somewhere like a cabin or a condo someplace isolated and just chill.  I could read or knit, the kids could collect bugs and fight with each other, catch poison ivy and get so bored that it would be character building.  But that didn’t happen.  Can you believe that parks and camping sites and other places without air conditioning really do fill up in August? I was shocked.

Instead, we went to Sea World!  Rod agrees, it was fine, but it would have been better if it had been about fifteen degrees cooler and $150 cheaper.   The first couple of hours, as I reached critical levels of dehydration and hunger in the 100 degree heat, were brutal.  But then we finally found the water park part and everything was okay.  Fun, even!  So, my advice is: if it’s hot, skip the animals and the dry rides, head straight for the water park part, and stay there.   Bring lots and lots of money.  And, don’t be an idiot like me, reapply your sunscreen every couple of hours.  My shoulders still hurt.  Ruby is now a waterslide nut, and Carl too.  We went down one slide in pairs, me with Ruby and Rod with Carl, and Ruby and I had a very fast, rough ride.  As we washed up at the end, Ruby apologized for making me go with her, then declared it was too scary and she wasn’t going again.  I was so worried about how my poor sweet baby Carl fared on it, only to find him giggling and jumping up and down at the bottom, begging Rod to go again.

We also made the little native Texans pay their respects at the Alamo, and we took the boat ride through the riverwalk.  We spent most of a day at the Children’s Museum, which I have to say was merely okay, based on my now-vast experience of children’s museums, but the target audience seemed to be having fun.   Carl begged to have dinner at the Rainforest Café, and I must say, there’s one place I hope I never ever have to endure again.  But again, the kids liked it, so I bet I will. The kids tried miniature golf for the first time, and found it super-delightful, except Carl was devastated when his ball didn't come back after the last hole.  We forgot to tell him the ball and golf club were only loaners.  A major oops, which we paid for with a long, long session of sobbing. 

We also stopped at Natural Bridge Caverns for a tour on the way back home.  It was very hot and it took a long time, and I know it will kill my dad to read this, but caves are just not that big of a thrill for me.  But it was a very impressive cave, if you ever find yourself between Austin and San Antonio with excess time and money. 

We have been back two days now, and I am looking forward to getting the kids to camp next week and getting a few grown-up tasks done.  Except, they may not be going to camp Monday, because Ruby is looking and acting pretty sick today (I am betting it’s strep throat again, if it’s possible to catch it that many times), and Carl is crabby and not eating (therefore possibly also sick).  Rod thinks he has an ear infection brewing, and I am just fine, thank you.  There are two weeks until school starts.

Out Here On My Own

Only five weeks until school starts.  Where did my story leave off? Oh, yes: 

The musical in the park was a huge amount of family fun last week.  I need to plan to do things like that more often.  We took the local excuse for a subway through downtown to avoid the parking hassle and because Carl had been asking to ride it, and that was fun, too.  The kids were up until nearly eleven o'clock and it was almost worth the tired cranky behavior the next day. 

Instead of bowling the next day, Ruby and I went ice skating.  We had a blast!  It was her first time, though Rod tried to take her once before, when she freaked out and refused to try.  I think she was worried she’d somehow be too scared this time, too, but she did fine.  She wobbled around the rink with her friends 4-5 times and across it twice, and only fell a few times.

When we first got out there, I was afraid ice skating would have to go on the list of Things I’m Too Out of Shape and Infirm To Do Anymore.  I hadn’t skated since before Ruby was born, and not regularly since early high school.  I was wobbling madly, my poor messed up feet hurt, and I had visions of severing whatever’s left of my spinal cord as I hit the ice.  And then it occurred to me that the skates felt the slightest bit loose in the ankles, and that maybe tightening the laces would help the situation. 

And it was a miracle.  I could stand!  I could glide, sort of, and even without my hand on the rail. Suddenly, it was fun again!  So my advice—cinch those laces down, and get out there!

Rod’s gone off to Singapore.  I have been fairly anxious and depressed over nothing much lately, and I was dreading him leaving, but so far Day 1 is going pretty well.  To my vast relief, I finally got the license plates for my new car (it took so long, and the guys who sold the car to me were so vague about the reasons for the delay, that my suspicious mind was making up all kinds of swindle scenarios).  The nearest tropical storm doesn’t appear to be headed this way.  And before he left, Rod took care of a bunch of household maintenance tasks, gave me his well-reasoned suggestions on what kind replacement cell phone I should buy, and we had a semi-romantic mid-day date.  Nearly always, I just love being married, you know?  I am still dreading the next ten days, though; it’s always hard when Rod leaves and the kids are very attached to him right now.

Last weekend we took the kids to the circus.  They were old enough this year to enjoy the show and not be frightened by the noise and drama, and we had seats near some of their best friends.  The only drawback is that they are also old enough to want to buy $12 snowcones and other crap, and the family we went with didn’t share my “no! to all over-priced souvenir junk” philosophy, so I ended up buying more at the show than I would have if we’d gone alone.  I’m pretty sure they’re not spoiled for life yet, though.  The kids also had friends come over for a sleepover that night, and they had plenty of pool and park time all weekend, so they’re still tired out in general.

 

 

This Entry Courtesy of Carl and the IRS

Our taxes aren’t due until tomorrow, and yet I’m almost sort of finished with them today!  But the two sticking points are a little sticky: one stupid complicated stock-with-cash-out merger by a company we own very few shares of but acquired via a spin-off during pre-history, so figuring out the math on the involuntary capital gain is a puzzle; figuring out how to make Turbotax accept some option commission data so that the final result matches our 1099; and the general concern that whoops!  We’re getting a refund!  Last year we owed so much money I about barfed in contemplation of it, and I still feel queasy thinking about it now.  So, I tried to make 2007 a year with no tax drama and plenty of withholding, and now it looks like I went extremely too far the other way.  Or, maybe Turbotax and I are just goofing up? Anyone else in tax hell today?  Of course not.  You are all sensible, plan-ahead kind of people, or you knew you couldn’t finish and filed your extension.

On Friday night, Carl popped out of his room over 20 times before finally giving up and falling asleep more than two hours after bedtime.  Rod and I had a long ongoing debate, discussion, argument, and mutual gritch-fest about what to do.  I posted a plea for help, advice and sympathy to my 500 family neighborhood playgroup.  Then Saturday morning Carl awoke with green snot streaming down his face.  Since then, he has done better at bedtime.  Do you think he was being such a jerk Friday because he felt yucky, or is he not being a jerk since because he feels yucky?

I owe Rod an apology for insulting his chili cooking prowess.  It was, in the end, pretty edible chili, especially if, like Rod, you like a somewhat charred taste—grilled corn, fire-roasted tomatoes, chipotle pepper, etc.  Unfortunately, the chili judges were a bunch of carnivores and Rod’s team didn’t win any prizes.  The picnic at the chili cook-off was nice, though: pony rides!  Boating! Petting zoo! Games! Tattoos! Snow cones!  And perfect weather, too.

Saturday morning, while Rod was off cooking chili, Ruby and Carl played together mostly harmoniously at home.  The highlight was the tea party they hosted for me on the floor by the front door, complete with cushions and stuffed animals and decorations.  It was lovely, but I think I spent as much time wiping up spills and saying “oh, look out!  Don’t step on the plates!” as much as drinking the tea or eating the snacks. Spills: tea, Splenda while filling the “sugar” bowl, my coffee (from a spill-proof cup, no less), the milk pitcher, water from the floating candles (I tried to explain the no-candles-during –the-day rule, but I was overruled).  And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Ruby hand wash china: clink! Clang! Whoops! Clatter!  Honey, don’t wave your hands while you’re holding that , aaaaah, I can’t look….Plus splashing all over the kitchen, ½ bottle of dishwashing liquid gone, and 6 kitchen towels and three bath towels drafted into service.

Halloween: Friend or Foe?

I can’t decide if I like Halloween or not.  It’s a huge big deal of a holiday for kids these days, and the fun is somewhat offset by the work required.  I’m doing better this year than last, even considering I’m MAKING costumes. 

Yes, making them.  Are you proud?

Well, actually, I am getting a lot of help (thanks, Grandma!) and advice (you know who you are.) The conscious decision to avoid taking the kids to the costume aisle of Big Box Store to choose a ready-made costume was my own, however.

Last night was the first Halloween party on our calendar.  Ruby pulled together her “princess kitty” outfit without too much drama.  She had pink leggings, pink sweatshirt, pink tail made of tights, romex and fiberfill, fuzzy pink shoe covers, kitty makeup, jewels, and rabbit ears (close enough, right?)  One very perceptive kid thought maybe she was a kangaroo, owing to the big ears and long tail combo. 

Carl was very pleased with the cheapo plastic pirate accessories I found him (gloves, spyglass, sword, hook).  He refused to wear the Jack Sparrow braids and head wrap, or the pirate shirt I so carefully made, but he was happy and didn’t maim anyone with the sword, so I don’t care. 

The party was fine, except for poor Rod, who was walking around the place on his weekly evening conference call the whole time.  Have I mentioned how much his job sucks lately?  No pictures, because I still haven’t replaced the stolen camera.  It’s just too complicated for me to figure out what I want and commit, so I’ll end up going to some big electronics place and letting a teenage clerk talk me into one.  Maybe this weekend.

Later this week, there is a school carnival, and then on actual Halloween there are the class parties, and probably some party with friends and trick or treating that night.  Ruby’s school makes Halloween “Story Book Dress Up Day,” so she has to come dressed as a book character.  This year, she suggested going as Barbie or a princess or Hello Kitty.  I said they were all really movie characters, and countered with Amelia Bedelia, Cat in the Hat, a Berenstein bear, or Pippi Longstocking.  We compromised on Laura Ingalls from the Little House on the Prairie books.  Grandma took pity on me and is making Ruby an apron; Ruby already has a bonnet courtesy of Grandma and I thrift-shopped an ugly pink nightgown that will look sort of like an old fashioned dress.  I am psyched that it all came together so well and so fast.

We spent last weekend at the Maker Faire in

Austin

.  This was really a field trip for Rod, with the rest of us just trailing along with low expectations. Imagine my shock at having an honestly great time!  If you ever have a chance to go, you should, especially if you have kids or are at all into making things—there were all sorts of art, DIY and craft projects.  We are definitely going back next year, and will drag friends with us.  Ruby and Carl suggest that you stay away from the huge, scary, loud, ping-pong-ball-shooting robot, though.

Anyway, the weather was lovely, I always like

Austin

, and we got to see my cousin and her husband and their extremely cute child for a while, too.  There were swans in the lobby of the hotel that Ruby and Carl were very sad to leave.  Ruby made me take cell phone photos of them and Rod collected a couple of feathers, so Ruby’s making plans for her show and tell presentation about them at school. 

The only bad part of the weekend was the night we arrived, when Carl could not fall asleep and got increasingly psycho until Rod took him out for a

3 a.m.

car ride.  Then Carl slept a few hours, woke up and freaked out again, then went back to sleep for another hour or so.  Naturally, he was groggy and needed to be carried most of the next day.  It was all very strange and tiring, and he had better never, ever do it again.

Bumbling Along

While I’m on the subject of money, did you know that if you simply save $400 per month per child starting at birth, you’ll be able to afford 85% of the cost of the average private college or university when the time comes?

And if you happen to have two kids but can’t manage to scrape together $800 a month, come on by. I’ll pour you a drink and we can talk about how mechanics and plumbers and hairdressers have great steady work and happy lives, and how most CEO’s went to public universities anyhow. 

Can you tell I’m mucking around with the family budget, such as it is, this week?

Kid news: Carl and Ruby are taking some expensive swim classes this month.  The teacher is really great and I wish we could afford more than a month; maybe next year I’ll have to work that into the spending plan. As it is, it’s still so hot here that an early evening dip is very welcome.  I wish it was me in the water.

Also, I am jealous of my friend who is taking piano lessons, even if I know I probably wouldn’t practice and could just polish off the old skills for free on my own.  That $2000 is something else to work into the budget.

What more?

• No one is sleeping well around here, and I don’t know why.
• Rod and I had date night last weekend, which was nice, although we didn’t do anything really special that I can recount here.
• Rod has a big deal dinner to attend on Friday celebrating his ten years of hard and mostly rewarding work at the same company.  I would like to go along to listen to his goofy speech, meet the other geeks, and drink my share of company-provided wine, but there are no babysitters to be found and I probably shouldn’t be spending money on one anyway, given my new austerity budget. 
• We tried out a local produce co-op last week, as part of my ongoing effort to live greener, shop local, and so on.  I don’t know that we’ll be signing up for various reasons, however.  The farmer’s markets have been pretty good, lately, I must say.
• There was open house at Ruby’s school last week.  Carl happily unfurled a mat and settled in to do some Montessori work, right after I threatened him with exile to the hallway if he and his buddy E didn’t settle down. The teacher had interviewed each child as to their favorite things and we got to guess which answers belonged to our kid. So I can say with authority that Ruby’s favorite colors are pink and purple, her favorite food is hot and sour soup, her favorite animal is the sea lion, and her favorite book(s) are “princess books.” 
• Ruby wants to make a teddy bear for Carl’s friend E, to show him how much Carl loves him.  So she and I braved the fabric store on Sunday afternoon, after agreeing no work would be done until next weekend; light a candle for me then, okay?  Her little creative impulses are sweet but starting to add up, and I may have to tax her allowance. 
• Carl is looking forward to his birthday party this weekend, and I suppose I need to get going on planning the food and stuff.  I also have to put together some photos of his life so far and a little narrative for his birthday party at school next week.  Montessori schools make a big deal out of the “celebration of life,” which is nice but means more work for Mommy.
• Carl woke me up Sunday morning, standing at the side of our bed and asking “do I look pretty, Mommy?”  He was decked out in necklaces and holding a bottle of lotion that we can all be glad he couldn’t open by himself.  I assured him that he was completely beautiful. 
• If you ask Carl what he wants to eat these days, he says “cookies and brownies and noodles,” presumably to be consumed all at once. Sadly, none of our meals has really fit the bill lately, so he is one disappointed kid.  He did eat his Easter candy for breakfast this morning, though.  I guess this marks a change to the all carb diet, after years on the eggs-cheese-yogurt-hot dog plan. 
• Tip:  Do not allow Carl unsupervised access to any of the following: food coloring bottles, hot sauce bottles, parmesan cheese shakers, salt in any sort of  nonchild-proofed container, the sugar bowl. 
• Ruby hosted her long-anticipated fairy party this weekend.  I think that particular fantasy has now been fulfilled and she can move on to something else, or at least I hope so.  Everyone seemed to have a good time, except Ruby had a few rough moments when the other fairies did not follow to the letter her instructions about what they were supposed to be doing at that particular moment.  There was dancing, jumping off of boxes and flying, crown construction, and snacks.  I think I was supposed to have read fairy stories, too, but it didn’t happen. 
• The air conditioning in my car is slowly but surely giving out.  And there seems to be an infestation of moths in the interior. 
• Anyone have any tips on heel spurs (apart from lose a whole lot of weight really fast)?  I may be dying from mine.  Ouch.

Being the Youngest Sucks

Carl spent a large part of Monday crying because he wants to be in Ruby’s class, or at least at Ruby’s school.  It was probably not smart of me to plan for the whole family to drop Ruby off at kindergarten, but I didn't want to miss it, so Carl had to come along.  When he saw his friend E, wearing a uniform and planting himself on the rug in Ruby’s classroom, it dawned on Carl that everyone else gets to go to XYZ Elementary.  But not him, and he didn’t take it well.

 

I have been trying to be sympathetic, as it’s not his fault he missed the September 1 Pre-K cut off date by two weeks (although I did try to talk him into an earlier birth, he stubbornly held on until mid-September).  When he wasn’t sobbing over the unfairness of it all, Carl seemed to like being in his new class.  He ran off and sat down with them without my usual good-bye kiss, hug and high-five.  (Maternal sobbing.)  He did say several times that he missed his teachers and his friends in the old class, but I think the new one seems okay, too.

Sending Ruby off to kindergarten was no big deal at the time.  I didn't get a chance to take the ceremonial photo at the school's front door.  She didn’t even kiss me goodbye, as she ran off into the classroom.  She seems happy to be back with her friends and teacher, and as a kindergartner in the fine arts magnet program, she got the thrill of going to art class for the first time Monday and to music yesterday.

Later Monday morning, a fellow kindergartner mom and I sighed about how fast five years goes by and how our babies are big and don’t need us anymore.  How sad it is that we’re becoming obsolete to the people we love most.  I tried to cheer myself up by thinking how it’s not so bad, and it will be worse later when they are big kids who want to move out, who think there are things they can’t tell me, who would prefer that I don’t read to them or play with them, who forget to call me every day.  And that led me to think of some recent issue of U.S. News, where I read that some colleges cost $45,000 a year, and that brought on a financial anxiety attack, so I quit talking and thinking.

 

This week I am working on Mommy maintenance.  Monday, I got my hair done.  Tuesday, I went to the dentist.  Today is mammogram day.  I should probably work in some doctor appointment after that, but I think I’ll skip to the toes for a pedicure, which if you saw my feet, you would realize is really a medical procedure anyway.

 

I should probably not write this, because it will embarrass me later, if I have the good luck to live to be 58 or 68 or 88.  However:  this getting older business is a complete drag.  The gray hair is more and more of a time and money sinkhole.  The dentist….well, I’ve never had the world’s finest teeth, but suddenly the hygienist is taking twice as long to work her magic, and lecturing sternly about the risk of gum pockets and cavity prevention.  The dentist is having to redo old fillings and crowns, and I just don’t have the luxury of skipping a single flossing/brushing/rinsing session.  The mammograms weren’t even on my agenda until recently, but suddenly I’m on the annual rotation for that.  Any exercise I do is aimed not so much at improvements, but at prevention, holding back the horror of lost muscle tone, diminished lung capacity, falling bone density, or another disabling round of back pain.  The dermatologist and I discuss my usual acne problem, but more and more she talks about skin cancer, and wrinkles.  The number of body parts that ache gradually expands.  I should be nowhere near menopausal, yet I swear the hormones are doing things they never did before.  Did I mention, too, that suddenly I’m married to some gray haired guy?

 

I am also planning Carl’s long-anticipated “wild horse birthday!”  For those of you coming late to the saga, Carl has been asking for a “wild horse birthday!” since about two weeks after his last birthday.  I think it may have coincided with a cartoon horse movie we rented.  It is all very strange, both that he has been so consistent about what he’s asking for, and also that it’s horses; I mean, the kid loves animals, but horses aren’t always at the top of his list, and he’s also seriously into dinosaurs, pirates, rockets, planes, trains, trucks….all the usual boy junk except maybe sports.  He also likes princesses and dress up, I should tell you, so you won’t call the gender police on me.

 

As Qui@ken informs me that we are still house rich and cash poor, Carl’s party is going to be a modest affair: probably cupcakes and a piñata at the park, with whatever friends we can summon.  If I know you in real life, you’re invited; let me know and I’ll send you the details. However, I warn you that the obsessive crazy part of my brain has taken over and is designing intricate little invitations involving horse-shaped lollipops and fancy little tie-on tags.  This is probably another clue that I should get a job, and channel this sort of behavior more productively.

Why are the paragraph returns on this post so creatively done?  I have no idea.  It looked positively normal in draft form.  My apologies.

Spring Break: Not For Me

I can’t be trusted to string thoughts together this week; voila the Bulleted List of Current Events:

• Daylight Savings Time:  This was obviously invented by a sadist without young children.  Or maybe a child-hating sadist.  Seriously, people, it’s hard enough to get the kiddos to go to sleep on ordinary time.  And then you mess with their little internal clocks and expect them to graciously sack out when it’s still light outside the window?  Also, living in Jungle Hell during the summer months, I personally look forward to cool(er) dark evening, which there is an hour less of thanks to the whole DST thing.
• Vacating: we spent last weekend at a friend’s lake house (this makes her sound somehow vastly wealthy, but really she’s economically somewhat average and it’s more like a cabin with appliances and plumbing, and it’s been in the family for quite a while….).  It was too cold to swim, but the kids did it anyway. Carl is a strange mixture of cozy and annoying to sleep with.  I missed half of the weekend because I had to stay here for a &$*((@&# fundraiser committee meeting and so I don’t have much else to tell.
• We started off the spring break holiday with the household tradition of a trip to the pediatrician, this time for Carl, although Ruby was also a contender.  Carl had snot coming out of his eyes for about the fourth time in two months, despite two rounds of antibiotic eye drops, and frankly, he was being a crabby little turd of a boy, which is often a clue that he does not feel well.  So we stopped in Monday morning for official confirmation of his sinus infection and a prescription for yet more Omnic@f.  He’s still full of boogers and both he and Ruby are coughing a lot, but I think both are improving.   
• I need to remember this:  How Carl sings at the top of his lungs, but never the whole song (EIEIO!!  Down by the station, early in the morning…., A-B-C-D...,Baa Baa Black Sheep.)  How he omits the second consonant of some words (“gasses”=”glasses,”  “gose”=”gross”)
• I took Ruby and Carl to the dentist today. Carl could not be charmed into having his teeth cleaned the usual way, despite the best efforts of all the most alluring hygienists and their tools, videos, and toys, and so he had to be taken into the Kitty Room (soundproof, but with kitty wallpaper) where I used my knee and both arms to hold him down while three other people held his head and cleaned his teeth.  No cavities!  Ruby was a model patient by anyone’s standards, and so it is sad that she was the one with an issue.  A few days ago, she was showing me a place inside the corner of her mouth where she’d bitten herself.  It did look sore, but I figured it was just a bite and it would go away.  The dentist says it’s more like a skin tag, a fibroma, and pretty well attached.  It looked pretty big when she showed it to me.  She gave Ruby strict orders to leave it alone and we hope it will go away… and we go back in three weeks if not, to discuss what horrible things they’d have to do to cut/burn/scrape/whatever it off….
• I need an attitude adjustment.  I should be happy to have a whole week to do fun things with the kiddos, and instead I am all mopey and stressed about not having any time for myself, the boogers and coughing, the endless sibling fights, the rain we’ve had all week, the way there is always some child hanging off of me somewhere and me not sleeping well.  We have done a few “fun” things—the library, the park between thunderstorms, and briefly the Children’s Museum. I’m just not really very good with kids, that’s all. 
• Today, after the dentist, we went to the rodeo, more specifically the livestock show and carnival.  It was fun last year, but this year was even better, especially for Carl, who is a better age to appreciate it.  We petted animals, we saw chickens hatching, Ruby sat on a longhorn, and we cheered the pig races.   It was drizzling at the carnival, but we stayed a while anyhow.  Carl insistently rode the pirate ship ride about four times, Ruby tried a variety of other things, and she had her first taste of funnel cake, thanks to a friend who came along.  Look for her to demand more of that tomorrow, when we may go back with Rod. 
• Carl knows something is up with the potty training, but he’s not buying into it.  Ruby keeps “helping” by talking to him about it, usually in fairly bossy terms.  We checked a video out at the library, which Carl watched attentively, although he wasn’t moved to try the potty afterward.   I decided I didn’t want his first underpants-wearing experience to be the day he’s supposed to wear them to preschool, so I bought him some Diego ones.  Carl wouldn’t give them a whirl, despite my best efforts to make them fun and exciting.  They do make fine hats, however, and I must have looked stunning when I answered the door wearing them.  Friday, I think we may have an underwear buying excursion party with a couple of his little friends who need to be trained, too, to get the festive peer pressure building…
• Hank the New Cat seems happy enough when he’s sleeping under Ruby’s bed, and when he comes out to be brushed, he’s extremely friendly.  But I’m worried because he doesn’t seem to ever eat, drink or use the cat box, and he stays under the beds.  He and the other cats have little standoffs from time to time, but there’s no out and out warfare, either.  So we’ve put some food and water upstairs for him, and drag him down to the box once a day or so (only so he can refuse to use it)…what else do I need to do, you kitty experts?