Holpineville

Because We Need a Little Christmas, Right This Very Minute

My mental list of things to write about includes, but is not limited to, the following things that happened this week:

Carl surprised us all by emptying his entire piggy bank into the charity collection his class did to support an Afghan school supplies program.  Of course, he got show off his cool Lego dungeon bank that way, too, so maybe it wasn't just altruism.  Still, it was out of character.

Carl several times very specifically has described a costume he would like to have, both for next Halloween and I think generally: black hooded robe, white mask with red eyes, and a scythe.  Yes, he wants to be Death.  (Or, "Deaf," as he calls it.)

There was a giant banana protein smoothie spill all through the mesh backpack and onto the lunch box, folder of papers, and library book one morning as we arrived at school; wasn't that fun for Mommy to clean up? We also did a lot of cleaning at home this week, although you can't really tell.

Ruby has to participate in a school district-wide invention fair this year.  She has an idea so brilliant I can't tell it to you, because if she wins, she gets a patent.  I, and Rod, if he ever turns back up, need to help her with some backup alternatives, research, and prototype production. 

I had another complicated and funky-looking mammogram followed by a long, lonely and worrisome ultrasound.  I haven't seen the final report yet, but I wasn't told to expect a call back for another biopsy, so probably it's fine, right?  On the other hand, the person who said I could leave told me she wasn't allowed to say one way or another.  I would bet I am fine, if a bit lumpy.  However, that makes two out of four annual mammograms where I had something show up that required further investigation.  It's much too stressful.  I don't really want to keep doing this every year for the rest of my life.

Rod has been working 18 hour days somewhere that's not here.  He barely calls.  I was getting angry about being neglected, and I had another one of those dreams where we've broken up and he's not a bit upset about it, but then I finally talked to him today and realized he's just busy and focused on his testing, it would take him too long to think up an affectionate text message to send me, and I should just let it go and get a grip.  So admire my maturity, okay?

We have been trying some Christmas crafts.  Oh, my, these kids do like making things.  And we're not done yet. Some of you may get some really original gifts.  

I used my Free Babysitting Card (a/k/a resident college student) to get out last night for a late dinner and a movie.  I recommend The Blind Side if you have kids or are about 45 or older.  Heartwarming, it was, and better than we expected.

I have a leaky-to-flat tire.   I become much more stressed out than the situation warrants when I have car problems, and I've decided this one is almost certainly Rod's fault, don't you think? I hope we can fill it up enough to make it to the tire place tomorrow.

Carl's got a cold and it makes his nose bleed and his voice sound like he's in puberty. 

I got my H1N1 shot, just in case that wasn't what I had when I got pneumonia last summer, and I took the kids to get theirs.  They were hoping for the nasal spray, but the doctor didn't want to give it to Carl because he uses Nason@xand has a history of sinus/ear/etc. issues.  I didn't want one kid to get off easier than the other, so I said we'd take big sharp needles all around.  You probably heard the screaming and sobbing from your place, right?  I didn't realize my kids were such wimps.  It was completely horrible and it went on forever.  And then Carl just about jumped off a bridge when the taco place got his take out order wrong afterward.  I don't know that I can face taking them back for the second dose next month. 

I also managed to work in haircuts for the kids this week, too.  They look even cuter than usual.

Christmas cheer is wiping me out this year: there's been too much forced creative thinking, too much shopping, too much planning, too much spending... The only thing I've avoided is doing any baking, due to my current diet, and sending cards, which I gave up a few years ago.  Who needs them, when there's a blog and Faceb@@k? I need to develop a "gifts for children only" pact with some people.  I am feeling deep guilt over not finishing some knitting projects I wanted to make for presents.  And we haven't started wrapping yet, and I will have to go to the inner circle of Hell (post office) again tomorrow, with the little urchins in tow.

You May as Well Hear it From Me First

I might need to have some bangs cut tomorrow. I hope not, but it could be necessary because a moderately sized fireball singed my hair when I was lighting the (gas) fireplace for my kids to roast marshmallows in tonight.  (Yes, I am that nice, or maybe that bad, of a parent).  I understand what I did wrong and it was stupid, of course, as most mistakes are.  I was initially relieved that I didn't set the kids or the Christmas stockings on fire, and then I realized the little confetti things and the bad smell in the air were my lightly burned hair.  I don't think it was all that much.  Still, whoops!

The kids were all excited to tell Daddy about it, which I discouraged, because he barely trusts me to do technical things like drive and tie shoelaces, but it turned out not to be an issue because he hasn't phoned home today.  Making lemons from lemonade, I took the opportunity to gently lecture the little tykes on fire safety and to share the story of the other time I singed my hair badly enough to need a trim.  I was five or six, I think, and I got too caught up in watching and throwing bits of stuff onto a leaf/trash fire my dad had going (I'm pretty sure it was even legal then and there), and by the time I went back inside, I'd melted the ends of my hair. Ah, memories.

By way of back story, Rod is off at a top secret location this week doing another experiment of epic importance to the world energy industry... or something like that.   He is also supposed to be catching up on sleep so as to improve his mood before the upcoming Holpine Road trip.  I should probably go ahead and book the family therapy session for right after we get back, because Rod is traditionally very cranky on road trips, Carl is impossible when he's tired (i.e., on vacation) and Ruby gets car sick.  By contrast, I am a perfect model of emotional equilibrium, and such good traveling company, too.

Anyway, before Rod left we had a very busy weekend: Brownie meeting, temper tantrums, nature class, cranky sulking and whining, major neighborhood holiday event, gingerbread house construction, mounds of laundry and dirty dishes, crying over failed craft projects, etc.  Rod and I both did shifts working the polls for my friend who just barely won her school district race, and I was at the returns-watching party until late.   

[Aside: People who voluntarily disenfranchise themselves by not voting really make me angry.  A few votes can make a big difference.  My candidate won by less than 200 votes, and especially in local politics, individuals have much more influence than most people think.  Trust me.]

Today, I filled in for the teacher's assistant in Ruby's class.  I love Montessori.  Because it's the last week before the break, the kids were having a "work-a-thon," where the teacher would donate a nickel for every piece of work they completed.  It involved graphing, and counting by fives, and handling money, and they were enthralled, and they did a lot of work!  I got to see Ruby doing her math "checkerboard" work, which is otherwise known as long multiplication.   Tonight, I had a long depressing board meeting, to which I had to bring the kids, but they did a good job of entertaining themselves at a nearby table.  Afterward, we went home and did yoga (they needed to burn energy) and then the marshmallows were the reward. 

This week, besides single parenting, I am dragging everyone around to end-of-the-year doctor appointments, trying to buy presents for difficult people (you know who you are!) we love anyway, trying to avoid buying myself cool stuff instead, and helping Ruby with some holiday craft projects she simply must do. Also, I need to clean house, get some exercise, and do some frantic knitting.

Never Trust a Reporter

Oh, look!  I'm in the news again.  And yes, again, it's basically what said, but not exactly how I meant it.  Isn't that how it always works when you talk to a reporter?  But, no harm done, I suppose.

We are all well.  The kids are tired from a weekend of festivity.  There was a laser tag birthday party on Saturday and then Saturday night I took Ruby to a classical pops holiday concert featuring our house guest college student.  Ruby surprised me by staying awake and by really enjoying the music, even the obscure weird pieces.  Sunday, we went to the Christmas tree farm and brought home a slightly more modest specimen than usual.  The kids were very excited about decorating it, and for the first year they were even useful in doing so.  Today, we had a pancake dinner at their school and then we bought stuff at the school book fair.  It pains me to pay more than Internet discount price for books, or to buy them when we could just check them out of the library, but the kids were so happy to choose some, and I suppose it helps the school.

Rod is frantic and swamped with year-end work deadlines, and has a business trip looming.  I am busy with a long list of projects and errands and appointments and ideas that we can just call "Stuff."

Holiday Spirit

Carl doesn't seem especially inclined to music-making, but that hasn't stopped him from belting out the holiday songs this week.  He knows parts of Jingle Bells, Feliz Navidad, and Up on the Housetop, and it sounded like he had the Twelve Days of Christmas, until I started listening closely:  "six cats meowing!"  "eight gol-den wings!"  ("But Dad, you have to sing the wings part really loud!") The good news is that he can handle the counting. 

Ruby, for her part, has memorized the First Noel for the piano.  She still isn't sure whether Santa is for real or not, even after years of quiet conversations and explanations to satisfy her need for the Truth.  She's just not ready to give it up, and that's fine, but she can't help testing the logic, either.

More than likely, it's the mom's fault

It seems my children aren't quite perfect, after all.  I finally took Carl for a speech evaluation, even though I felt like an over-obsessive ninny for doing it.  The good news is that Carl cooperated, the therapist says he has a great vocabulary and is perfectly understandable overall, and I got a good vibe from the place I chose at random off the insurance list.  The bad news is the therapist agrees he's behind schedule on his articulation of some sounds: b/f/v/th....and could use some work on them.  She also said he was a bundle of energy and I wonder if that implies I should be getting him some kind of behavioral evaluation as well? 

I don't have the final report yet, but my inclination is to go ahead and sign him up for some sessions so that he can grow up speaking standard intelligible English.  This is not a priority for our medical insurer, however, so it is going to cost, well, more than I'd like to spend.  Ugh. 

Then today I met with Ruby's teacher about some ongoing issues Ruby has been having.  She says the words move around on the page or it gets all gray and blurry when she reads, she skips words when reading aloud, she has trouble with spelling, still transposes and reverses letters and numbers when she writes, and she's had some difficulty with memorizing math facts.  Based on my consultation with Dr. Google and some other moms, I think there's a good chance she has some degree of what they call visual dyslexia. 

The teacher says she agrees an evaluation is warranted because Ruby is so stressed out by those problems and she just can't rule out some kind of brain processing issue going on.  But, Ruby gets excellent grades and is working well above grade level on everything except perhaps spelling, so it may be harder to convince the school district to have her assessed. I can see that, but I feel like she could potentially be doing even better, if these (fuzzy, hard to pin down) problems weren't there. Ruby gets really frustrated with the reading issue in particular, and I know it frustrates and demoralizes her to not be able to clearly explain what the problem is and get a good answer on how to fix it.

So, the teacher is going to pursue the paperwork for the committee meeting we'd have to have before we can get an assessment done, and I think I'm going to go ahead and call a psychologist some people have recommended to get a private work up.  Naturally, all of this is expensive and none of it is covered by insurance.

Do you think I took the wrong prenatal vitamin?  Go ahead, you can tell me.

And now, I'm going to pick my kids up from school early so they can play in the snow!

Still Hungry

It is now day 11 of 14 of the yucko liquid diet.  I think I have lost a good ten pounds, but then again, I won't officially claim the number the scale said when I started, I am having some major PMS bloat, and it really doesn't matter anyway.  To look at me, you couldn't tell, trust me. 

I have tried 25 (yes, I counted) different kinds of ultra-low-carb protein drinks, plus countless variations on some powered ones that I have on hand in big containers.  I can tell you all about what to add, how much ice, and which sugar-free flavored syrups and extracts will make that whey powder most bearable.  Ruby actually likes my chocolate mint variation on Muscle Milk. 

And I can have clear liquids!  Oh, boy, do I get liquids!  I am not a fan of Crystal Light (since when is it cool for grown ups to drink Koolaid?) but suddenly I am chugging it down for variety's sake.  I drink tons of water and buckets of herbal tea, I have explored all the possibilities of sugar free popsicles and jello, and I even tried meat-flavored water (a/k/a broth-- barely tolerable served hot with a bunch of herbs and stuff dumped into it).

This all makes the diet time more bearable, but I still would like to eat food, thank you very much.  I can report that after about day 4, I started to feel less zoned out and fuzzy, but that was about the time something new went wrong in my back, and I can't take any of the good drugs for it, so my zest for living has been tempered by trying to find comfortable positions for sitting, sleeping, and standing. 

I am starting to get a little stressed out.  Right now, it is not so much about the surgery as about everything I wanted to have done before the surgery:  an overdue website content revamp for a volunteer group, a baby shower I'm co-hosting, remarks for an event I have to speak at tonight, the giant pile o' junk in my car for Goodwill, the dirtiness of the car in general, my messy disaster of a bedroom, bills to pay, last-minte grocery store run, blah, blah, blah.  Perhaps it's all a front for some fear of dying or of going through this and having it not work.  It could be: we all know I don't trust Rod to raise these children without me, and I have a lot of knitting left to do. But today, it mostly feels like I need to get cracking on the party favors.

In other, more interesting news, I took Ruby emergency shoe shopping Monday, after she insisted that suddenly none of her shoes are comfortable enough for everyday wear.  It was nice to have her alone for a while, and maybe shoe shopping will be some kind of bonding experience for us one day, but for now, it's torture.  She has weird feet and picky taste.  But she's now the proud owner of some slippers to wear around the house and more importantly, some sneakers for school.  She's most proud that the shoes have soles made from recycled tires.

I took Carl to the ear doctor on Tuesday, because the school nurse believes he's profoundly hearing impaired.  This doctor is a Big Deal in the pediatric ENT world, and he and his team of audiologists tested Carl and checked him over, and then swore on a stack of Bibles that Carl's hearing is in normal range, and filled out the school nurse's form accordingly, thereby confirming my opinion of her skills.   

Both of those late afternoon expeditions resulted in kids going to bed late on Monday and Tuesday.  So on Wednesday, Ruby was worn out and developed some horrible tummy ache at school so that I had to bring her home early.  I think what she really needed was some time off; I think Thanksgiving break can't come fast enough for both kids.

More news as events warrant. 

I am Moderately Fond of Democracy

I was going to say "I love democracy!"  but then both of the candidates that I really care about ended up in run-offs.  So there are five more weeks of hard work and tension to go. 

I got up early yesterday to be a poll worker.  Yes, one of those perky people handing out cards that you try to avoid eye contact with and slip by on your way into the voting place.

By now, you probably know that I hate talking to strangers, and I also have a very difficult time waking up in the morning.  So it was a little surprising that I enjoyed myself, talking to the precinct election judge and the other corner-standers, including one of my candidate's opponents, and seeing everyone coming in. Later, I spent several hours at the election day bake sale at our kids' school, chatting with the people who live nearby about the school and the elections. Last night, I stayed late at the returns-watching party for my friend, where we all learned once again that when voter turn out is less than 20%, a couple hundred votes makes a huge difference, even in a very big city.  

One side benefit to my minor political activity in these local races is that the kids are both very interested in elections, politics, and candidates.  I like that they are seeing people they know run for office and being involved in campaigns.  On the other hand, explaining How the World Works to innocent children is not easy.  I do miss my high school civics teacher, jaded and burnt-out as the poor guy was. 

Halloween was good, from what I can now recall, four days later.  Ruby made a fab Statue of Liberty.  Carl was Skippy Jon Jones at his school's storybook dress up day parade, and then a bat on Halloween proper.  Rod was Dracula in white tie, and I was me...too tired to get a costume together.  We went to the school fall carnival on Saturday afternoon, and to a friend's party Saturday night. Sunday involved another (very loud, says Rod, who sacrificed himself and went) birthday party, and ended with Horrible Tired Crabby Kids Falling Apart Night.  Nights like that, I wonder if Carl will make it to adulthood alive and unincarcerated.  But he was all better the next day; yay! for sleep.

I keep waiting for a break in the busy, but it's not happening.  This week's special events: Ruby is taking a sewing class, Carl has a birthday party to attend, and I have meetings every night.  This weekend, there's a statewide Montessori conference at school that I need to help with, it's the 22nd anniversary of When Rod Met Andrea, I need to do some election campaigning, there's another birthday party, and a friend's art event I promised to drag my kids to. 

Also, it's my last weekend to eat in my usual fashion ever.  On Monday, I start a horrid-sounding regimen of protein drinks and nothing else for two weeks.  After that, comes the much-anticipated, carefully considered, and long-prepared for gastric bypass surgery, and food will never be quite the same. Yes, I am rather freaked out about the whole thing, and I don't really want to discuss it all here.  But I do need to think hard about what to have for dinner Sunday night...suggestions?

Montessori Education is Peace Education

That's the slogan on the school t-shirts this year.  Carl seems to have taken it to heart, to judge by his work:

He especially likes map work:

And in Montessori school you do a lot of labeling:

How do you know when it is okay to let your kid stop going to some class or activity?  Ruby is in a weekly creative writing workshop.  The program gets good reviews from most kids and parents, and several of her friends are in it. Ruby is generally creative, likes making up stories, role playing, enacting dramas, and putting on shows, and she does some writing at home from time to time.  Also, her spelling sucks, even adjusted for her age and grade level, and I think writing is an important skill kids should practice more in general.  Finally, this is the first time the program is at the kids' school and I wanted to support it by signing Ruby up. 

But somehow, Ruby doesn't like this class. She says the instructions for each assignment are too bossy, or confining; basically, she feels like she can't write what she wants.  Ruby says the writing time is too long and it's too loud and distracting in the room with everyone else.  She feels over-scheduled and Wednesdays in particular are too tiring and she's just not happy about it.

I told Ruby she needed to stick it out for the semester and we'd reconsider for the spring.  She said she realized today that the teacher's instructions are more flexible than she'd thought, so today was better.

So what do you think?  Is the benefit of the class worth the bellyaching about it?  Or should I let her drop, because she's given it an honest try and she's tired and stressed out and only seven, even if it means the school loses the program for lack of enrollment? 

Here is a poem she wrote that the teacher sent out as part of an edited anthology of the work of the class.  I gather from some of the other poems that the idea was to write a verse or two about various feelings.  I like the poem, because it seems very "Ruby" to me, and I'm not the world's finest judge of literary merit, but I have to say that I think some of her classmates wrote generally better pieces, if that makes any difference to you.   

___________

Happy

 

I bounce up and down!

 

Sad

 

I run upstairs and lie on my bed.

 

Mad

 

I say, MOM!  MOM!!

 

Alone

 

I feel sick.

 

Angry

 

I say MOM! 

 

____________

The news in brief: For the first time today, Ruby asked if she could borrow one of my books when I am done with it. And yes, she meant to read it.  Surprisingly, it was not some trashy novel, but a big thick history book.  She read a few pages and liked it, "even if I can't understand every single bit of it."  I said yes, of course.

 

Some fool scheduled Election Day precariously close to Halloween this year, so I am very busy until sometime next week with kid stuff, parties, and political action.  It's been raining way too much for my psychological comfort, Rod survived his first colonoscopy (which he got because he's now a middle aged dude and it comes with his Deluxe Executive Physical Exam Package) with no bad news, and in fact, we're all well and healthy for the moment.

The cat ate my password

I see we have some catching up to do, you and I.  You haven’t been getting the posts I compose as I’m falling asleep or sitting in traffic, have you?  Let’s see what I can string together for you:

The news:

Ruby spent one weekend throwing up, but recovered quickly.  Carl has had a snotty nose and I can’t tell if it’s getting better or about to get way worse.  Many of their friends have had the dreaded H1N1, but so far we are clear.

Rod did some much-needed caulking and painting around the house and has been working long, long hours. 

We have new tenants moving in next door this weekend.  Everyone please cross your fingers, light a candle, whatever, and hope that they pay us on time and take decent care of the place.

Carl says he is just one lesson away from being done with Pre-K work at school.  I have no clue if that's true or not, but if it's motivating to him, that's awesome.  Ruby was trying to teach him to read one night, using the highly-motivating book Super Diaper Baby (one of the highlights is the bad guy accidentally transforming himself into a turd).  Anyway, I mentioned to Carl that I have a book about teaching your child to read and maybe we should get it out sometime.  “Get it now!” he shouted, an hour before bedtime.  I would like to say that I used that window of opportunity and that he’s now reading well above grade level, but I made him go to bed instead.

Grandma paid a visit for a quilt show, but made time to have dinner with us all and to take Ruby and me to the show one afternoon.  Ruby really enjoyed it and has big plans for the kitty fabric she got.  Ruby also enjoying calling people on the phone these days, especially Grandma.  It’s strange to see my little baby casually picking up the phone, paging through the speed dial, and calling people all by herself.

Ruby has replanted her garden for fall. Now being tested are onions, spinach, swiss chard, lettuce, cilantro, and pansies.  The excitement was darn near overwhelming when she discovered a lone petite cantaloupe on her half-dead cantaloupe vine.  We’re still holding out hope that it will ripen enough to harvest, and not just rot on the ground.  She keeps harvesting the occasional okra pod or pepper, too, but the eggplant has been devastated by caterpillars or bugs or something. 

Ruby had the honor of introducing the arts showcase at her school today.  She Who is Never Nervous seemed to have a touch of the stage fright, but did fine.  Here is a lovely cell phone photo of my little star, a few minutes before she said her lines:

As for me, what have I been doing?  Nothing, and everything.  I harvested and froze a ton of basil, read a kind of interesting book about the pilgrims, went to my knitting guild meeting, kept plugging away at my volunteer projects, played phone tag with a speech therapist for Carl, went to the spaghetti dinner at school, got the kids’ hair cut, sorted through a giant pile of old papers (sadly, there are many more piles to go), took my pregnant friend to the doctor a bunch of times, cooked more than I really wanted to, did 96 loads of laundry, and ran all those time-sucking errands (cleaners, post office, grocery store, grocery store, grocery store, drugstore, cat food store, school, school, school, school, you know…..).

Last week, I volunteered at another sort of –related to my-kids’ school- Montessori –school-for-underprivileged-kids’ fundraiser.  Ruby and Carl had to be there with me for a while until Rod could collect them.  To my delighted astonishment, they didn’t want to amuse themselves with coloring books; they wanted to help.  And they did, setting tables and filling glasses just like the grownups.  Too bad I can’t get that kind of support at home.

This weekend, the cat is going to the vet, there are a bunch of birthday parties, the kids want to carve pumpkins (even though I explained they will be slimy and black by Halloween, given our lovely climate), and I need to figure out Carl’s costume(s)—the bat, and the Skippy Jon Jones he wants to be for the storybook dress up parade at his school.  How hard can it be to come up with something that makes Carl look like a Siamese cat who thinks he’s a Chihuahua on a mission to Mars?

 

And More

We would like to announce that Ruby is going to be the Statue of Liberty for Halloween, and Carl wants to be a bat.  There are practically no child bat costumes available this year except for some tarty ones for little girls, and I am not sewing this time around, so I have delegated most of the bat-making responsibility to Rod.  No one is allowed to change his or her mind about costumes from this point on.  Right?

Carl hates nap time at school.  Not only must he endure the indignity of being a five year old in Pre-K, but Pre-K kids have to go to nap time, for a whole 30 minutes a day.  Carl usually spends about that long complaining about it each morning and begging me to pick him up early from school so that he can skip it. He doesn't ever sleep and it's so so so so boring, and Buddy X and Y are always bugging him, and please, please, can't he just stay home? 

So finally I asked his teacher if he could do something else at nap time, like maybe work alongside the kindergartners?  She said no to that, but offered that Carl could bring a book to nap and read to himself. The best books for this, she said, and the ones that seem to keep Carl's attention longest, are big non-fiction picture books. 

Carl seems pretty happy with this deal, maybe just because it's a novelty, but I'm taking my respite from the complaining with a grateful heart for however long it lasts.  We went to the library today so that he could check out some new non-fiction, and we carted home a huge stack of books on fascinating topics like shipwrecks and dinosaurs, and also conifers, weather, and turkeys.  Did I mention that he can't really read yet?  So nice cover art is how he chooses.