Holpineville

Nothing But Nonstop Thrills When You Hang Out with Me

Today, we had to leave the house early, so as to be absent during decontamination cleaning. Carl did not want to leave the Lego set he acquired last night, ostensibly with his own money, but in reality highly subsidized by me.  Probably I shouldn’t have chipped in, but I got tired of explaining that he could only afford the stuff he either didn’t want or already had, and I will just adjust his birthday gifts from Mommy and Daddy accordingly. 

So we worked out a deal to put together the little Lego guys and leave the rest until later.  Then, it was off to one of the local panaderías for a completely nutrition free breakfast for the kids and a taco for me, all because I am an incompetent housekeeper.  

My big plan for today was to go to a storytime tour at the local mansion/decorative arts museum.  I had forgotten just how insidiously snobby this place is, and even though it was a well-promoted children’s program, the general vibe from the docents and guards was ‘let’s get this over with as soon as possible and you grubby kids just be quiet and hold still, exit that way, good-bye now…’  It also seems that it helps to be an overdressed subdued little caucasian girl child of about six years old, tethered to a nanny, grandma, or impeccably groomed upper-income stay at home mom.  We didn’t really fit the mold. 

I figured it wouldn’t be Carl’s exact cup of tea.  My reasoning was that it was a short program, it wouldn’t hurt him to try something new, and I thought the novelty of the place would work in my favor.  He liked the storybook readings, and he was much more interested in some of the paintings, statues, and porcelains than I would ever have guessed. However, I was still a bit disappointed and rather stressed by his behavior while we were there….not quite bad enough to remove him immediately, but certainly not as good as I know he is capable of.  Ruby really liked the place, though.

After, it was getting hot outside so we headed for the downtown library.  I read about eight story books to them while we waited patiently for a turn with the library’s Wii, and then Carl and I ineptly played the Lego Batman game for our allotted hour.  By then, we were all starved, and since I am Such a Cool Mom, and I didn’t want to mess up a clean house any sooner than necessary, we went to one of those places with a play area, where the kids burned off almost as many calories as they consumed. The late afternoon was devoted to Lego construction (me), W@bkinz (Ruby), and running back and forth between the two (Carl). 

Ruby decided Carl needed a W@bkinz account of his own, which was part generosity on her part, as they have been playing together with the stuffed animals constantly and he has been interested in what she does online with them.  But it was also motivated by Ruby’s realization of the possibilities, if there were two accounts she could get into, so she has been giving Carl rather firm direction on how to manage his animals.

Tomorrow the kids are going to gymnastics daycamp: expensive for me, but exhausting and usually fun for them.  We need a break from each other and I have a few grown up things to do. 

What’s a cannonball’s favorite game?  Swallow the leader!  Ruby checked a book of “gross out jokes” out of the library and was reading them to us on the way home.  I heard several cannonball jokes and I must confess it took me more than one to grasp that she meant to say “cannibal.”  Which brings up the point that she is both in a spell of creative mispronunciation (the other fun one is the W@bkinz she bought Carl: a St. Bernard puppy, but she calls it “Saint Beard”), and she is old enough to unselfconsciously enjoy and mostly understand that kind of joke. 

PS: The font size thing is completely out of control.  Would someone like to teach me enough html or whatever so that I can fix it?  

Ahead of My Time

The pediatrician said Ruby's weight is within the okay range, and while we should continue to pursue healthy living, there's no need for me to have an anxiety attack yet-- I can wait at least until next year's checkup.  Ruby's now four feet four inches tall, and weighs about 68 pounds.  That puts her at about the 96th percentile for height and the 93rd for weight, and the 86th for BMI.  The 85th percentile is the start of the "at risk for overweight" category, for what it's worth, so she's a little borderline. 

Otherwise, Ruby's also a healthy little thing.  Her vision is apparently great, her hearing acute, and all the parts checked out okay.  She played Stump the Doctor with some mystery stomach pains, but the doctor and I couldn't diagnose anything wrong, so it's likely muscle strain or some temporary digestion issue.

We are having not one, but two(!) play dates today, although Carl is being a little jerk to playmate #1, so I may cancel #2.  Also, I am frantically cleaning the house in anticipation of the cleaning fairy's arrival tomorrow.  Okay, the cleaning lady is not a fairy, she just seems magical.  She's an expensive luxury and I can't waste her valuable cleaning expertise and time picking up my clutter, so I have to get cracking.   After a great burst of positive energy yesterday, today I am tired and I miss Rod.  The end.  

Two Things Carl Learned at Camp

1) The phrase "Your Mother Dresses You Funny!"  which he inserts into every stuffed animal drama or game he and Ruby play. I know how dangerous having that rolling around in his brain is-- someday he'll say it to someone who might actually be offended -- but it still makes me laugh.

2) That his camp buddy Sawyer gets a Whole! Big! Bottle of Gatorade!  All for himself!  Every day!  and drinks it before lunch.  (hint, hint....repeat that again, just in case Mommy didn't catch it the first time.) I don't know why my kids like Gat@rade; tastes like salty Kool@id to me and it's only allowed once in a blue moon under the Household Sugary Beverages Rule.  But it seems like all the kids are into it, these days. 

Only ten more days until we see Rod again; seven or eight until some friends filter back into the city.   

Calmer, Thanks

See what a good job I am doing of moving on, as regards Rod's business trip and all my friends being away?  Past denial, anger, and panic, to more-or-less resigned acceptance of what this week will be like.  Why, I'm even brainstorming fun things to do! 

And I'm reminding myself of the good points to Rod being away: I can stay up as late as I darn well please, with no one harrumphing in the background about how late it is, then I can hog the bed when I finally get there.  Fewer dishes to wash, and slightly less laundry.  I can watch movies he'd hate when the kids are asleep.  Every single child management problem is up to my sole discretion for the entire time, no arguing, no tongue biting, no negotiating the issue with someone else before making the final call.  I have not one, but two cars to drive!

Okay, so I will miss him.

Thankfully, one playdate family is back in town, so I'll see at least one other adult this week, not counting the pediatrician.  I'm making a list of Really Great Things To Do, or at least Places That I Can Stand to Take the Kids.  And I remembered one place that has by-the-day summer camp, so I may farm them out on Thursday if there's space available. 

I got the red clothing thing totally covered, or at least sufficiently so.  They may not be the world's most flattering designer originals, but we've all got something to wear in the photo now.

So see, things are looking up.  How bad can it be?

Party of Three

Once again, I am out of sync with the rest of the world.  Somehow, our vacation schedule doesn’t agree with the rest of the community’s.  Everyone my kids play with regularly, plus all the parents who keep me company and listen to me gripe, they are all heading out of town for the next week.  Yes, everyone: seven or eight different families, away to various cool places without me.  The nerve of those people.

And, to make matters even more desperate, Rod is leaving early Monday for ten days somewhere nice.  Yes, it’s a business trip, but it’s to somewhere nice, and he won’t have to cook, do laundry, wash dishes, or discipline children, so I call that a pleasant break.

Panic.

I will confess that my first impulse on comprehending that scenario was to get out of town.  If I have to be alone with the kids for that long in this lousy weather, we should get a change of scenery, go somewhere, do something different. And I am checking all the last-minute travel deal websites. Scotland looks good this morning. Alaska keeps courting me via e-mail.  There are some really great transatlantic cruise deals coming up in the fall, if you have the time.  Not to mention all the road trips I could plan. 

But even a good deal costs money, and I shouldn’t spend any extra, with the fall bills arriving soon.  So I’m also working on Plan B: Suck it Up and Deal.  Perhaps I will screw up my courage and call the parents of the kids we know but don’t play with regularly, and see if any of them are around.  We will go swimming often.  I will say yes when Carl asks to go to the museum (which he does almost every morning).  I will help Ruby with the play she is producing.  We can have a messy project or two.   Frankly, it sounds tiring. 

The News:  This week, the kids went to zoo camp.  I think they liked it.  Carl learned about the rainforest and I hear he was able to see the komodo dragon and watch the elephants being washed, among other things.  Ruby’s class was all about poop, so she brought home interesting facts like “sea lions have the smelliest poop,” and art projects like a pooping monkey picture and papier-mache elephant dung. Unfortunately, her interest in cleaning the cat box remains unchanged.   

We also went to a party at Ruby’s piano teacher’s home.  It included the other kids who take lessons, and it was a play, with masks and sound effects and scenery.  The teacher was kind enough to include the little brothers in the action, too, so while the kids were rehearsing, the parents were playing pool and having a glass of wine.  Ruby was an obnoxious tropical bird, and Carl made a good hyena.

With the kids at camp, I tried to take care of a bunch of business like doctors appointments (the optometrist had the nerve to suggest I start getting used to the idea of bifocals in a few years!) and the never-ending grocery shopping and bill paying.  I had lunch with old friends on various days.  Since no one was looking, I sorted through a giant pile of the kids’ school papers and art projects, preserved a small sample for historical purposes, and pitched the rest.  Doing that gets a lot easier as time goes by and the paper piles up, I must say. When there is a stack a foot high and you know there will be another one at the end of the next semester, you realize not every piece is a priceless treasure.

This week Ruby will have her postponed seven-year check up.  She is counting on there being no shots, so if you know differently, please don’t tell her.  I am rather dreading it because I think it will be the first time I get the BMI lecture as regards her.  I suspect her layer of stored energy is a bit bigger that it needs to be, that’s all.  I am really in a stew over the whole topic on two fronts.  First, I was the World’s Fattest Child, or at least it seemed that way, and I have large trunks of emotional baggage in this area.  Every comment some adult made to me about it, and I hope they were all well-meaning, hurt instead of helped, and left a little scar. I think I got too much talk and ultimately not enough supportive action, although I remember both of my parents working hard to help me with the weight in various ways. 

Ruby isn’t stupid, and she’s noticed her own little belly, so I don’t want to treat the subject like we can’t discuss it.  And yet I am petrified of saying something that sears itself into her psyche forever, as I know how that can happen. Second, I had such hopes of raising healthy weight kids.  We really do work at feeding them a balanced diet, keeping junky food out of the house, teaching them to try new things, limiting their screen time, and getting sufficient exercise.  But evidently we don’t have the balance right yet, and I feel like I’m failing in an area that is important to me.   

I need something red to wear in a family photo in a couple of weeks.  My wardrobe isn’t as deluxe as I thought it was, and apparently red isn’t “in” this year, because I haven’t found the right thing yet.  Online shopping is required, given my above scheduling problems. Any suggestions?  Maybe Ruby can papier-mache me a shirt?

Vacation with Us! A Quiz

1.        An apparently healthy child is most likely to be struck by uncontrollable diarrhea:

a.       In the very long airport security line, just after checking the luggage containing all the spare clothes, and before a long flight that you really can’t miss.

b.      While visiting the lovely home of a distant relative, where there is one bathroom for forty guests.

c.       In the middle of a municipal bus ride through a less-than-attractive and unfamiliar neighborhood.

 

2.       Estimate, to the nearest $10, how much we spent on “souvenirs” (aka “priceless treasures” or plastic junk) for the kids.

 

3.       On a six day vacation to an area of the country known for good restaurants and fine cuisine, how many days does Carl eat pepperoni pizza?

 

4.       On a car ride through a beautiful redwood forest, you stop to:

a.       Take in the view from the scenic lookout

b.      Let someone pee, incidentally in a giant grove of skunkweed

c.       Photograph the kids with a giant redwood tree

d.      Administer fresh air and the “of course you are not car sick, what are you talking about?” speech.

 

5.       Describe the appropriate emergency procedures when your precious child vomits all over the back seat and you are 25 miles into a 40 mile stretch of twisty roads.  You have no plastic bags, no paper towels, no water, no extra clothes, no rubber gloves, and no cleaning supplies of any kind.  Bonus points for strategizing how to get the child back into the car for the rest of the ride.

 

6.       You are driving through wine-making country.  The weather is perfect and the scenery beautiful.  You decide to stop for lunch:

a.       On the terrace of a café advertising tasty creative dishes made with locally-grown ingredients.

b.      You don’t.  Instead, you grab a plate of cheese, charcuterie, fruit, and crackers and enjoy it with a nice half bottle at your next winery stop.

c. At the Taco Bell/KFC in the gas station near the freeway entrance ramp.

We’re back from a few days far away at a family reunion, and my quiz had nothing to do with the high points.  It was wonderful.  No one wanted to come home.  I am trying to get back into the regular life groove today, and it’s not much fun so far.

 

Answers: 1. a.; 2. $115, but I could be forgetting something; 3. Four, I think; 4. b and d; 5. We stripped him to his underwear, used a map to mop up what we could, had him swish the dregs of a lemonade to rinse his mouth, used a tablespoon of flat diet soda to rinse our hands, and it was so awful I don’t remember the rest; 6.  If you picked anything but c., you’ve never traveled with little kids.

Jinkies*

Why do they always have to get sick?  And why is it always when the day camp is paid for, and you have Very Important Things to Do Without a Kid Along, and a vacation coming up later in the week?

So Ruby has another round of something unspecific and nasty.  Monday night, after a couple of hours of her looking pale, tired, grumpy, and saggy, it finally dawned on me that maybe her body felt a bit warm as we read a book together.  Yup, she had high fever.  Coincidentally, Tuesday morning was to be her seventh year check up at the doctor, so we converted the appointment to a "sick visit."  Apart from the fever, her throat looks really infected and the doctor seemed a bit concerned, but Ruby's initial strep test was negative, and thankfully, she's already had mono.  So we got some blood drawn (boy, was that fun) and some antibiotics.  It's now nearly 9:30 a.m. on Wednesday and Ruby is still asleep, which may be a record.  Her last dose of ibuprofen should be wearing off soon, however.

To add to the joy, Rod is in pain, sleepless, and very cranky because of what he thinks is just a bad case of swimmer's ear.  It hurt so much he actually went to the doctor voluntarily! He gets up every two hours for a hot compress and has formally adopted my bottles of painkillers. I suspect it might be something else, too, like Ruby's virus or an inner ear infection or a dental problem, but he says he feels somewhat better today and he went to work. 

And I am very tired from everyone waking me up all night, I hate packing, and I need to clean up the house, so I am procrastinating by writing this dull piece of news. 

We are thinking of hosting a foreign exchange student this fall, or taking in our occasional babysitter, who is a broke foreign college student, for a few months.  Nothing is confirmed yet, and chances are decent neither will happen, but I have to think of a nice way to explain to Ruby that we might need to move her stuff out of her room.  She sleeps in Carl's room, and she's a generous sort of person, so surely she won't mind, right? Yeah.

*We've been watching a lot of Scooby lately.

 

I Should be Swimming at the Pool

But I am tired today (from a long Fourth of July/birthday party yesterday, from starting to give up caffeine, from my pharmacy being out of my thyroid meds, from just being me…) and the kids suddenly seemed just too everything this afternoon: too loud, too bouncy, too smelly, too whiny, too needy.  Plus, I had things I would like to do around here without constant noisy interruption. Rod must have been in better shape than me, because he volunteered to take them swimming alone, and I was not foolish enough to make more than a token protest.

Dear Reader, I feel no small amount of guilt over not updating this here page sooner, but the things that have happened this week have all been rather minor, as you will see when I detail them for you now:  The kids got their hair cut, finally!  I threw up one morning and felt violently ill for about two hours and then I was fine.  Weird, huh?  I broke my favorite coffee mug.  I did a bunch of knitting on a baby sweater for a friend who is due to deliver any minute now.  (However, the weather is such that the baby won't be needing a sweater right away.)  Ruby and I spent a couple of hours cleaning her room today. It’s not the showplace I thought it would be without the clutter, but it’s better.  She wants to redecorate in a Parisian theme, and I am putting her off as much as I possibly can.

Rod was off work all week, and I wish we could say we did all kinds of really exciting family bonding things, but we didn’t.  Rod spent a bunch of time fixing things.  He also built the garden we promised Ruby as a birthday present.  She has a 4x4 raised plot now, with an irrigation system and real live plants: an eggplant, a couple of tomato plants, and a couple of things I don’t remember.  I am sure the 100 degree heat and partly-shady placement of it will make growing things harder than Ruby expects, and yet it is nice to see her so excited about it.  She wants to add flowers to the vegetables, once things settle in a bit.

The kids had space camp on two days, at the actual Johnson Space Center.  There’s got to be more to it, but all I have figured out from what they tell me, is that space camp involves eating junky food for lunch and doing some crafts.  Carl did learn something, because he and I watched the fireworks on TV last night and there was a taped message from some dude on the space station and a shot of mission control and Carl started telling me all about them.  Also last week, Ruby had a piano lesson, and an online Webkinz party with her cousins who live far away.  We went swimming a couple of times. Carl had a playdate with a friend, and took a nice long impromptu car nap one day. We had people over for dinner one night, and trekked out to Chinatown for dinner and grocery shopping another.  Rod and I managed a lunch and museum date one camp day, too.

In the Sudden Signs of Maturity Department: Ruby wanted to play the Monopoly game she got for her birthday yesterday, and to my surprise, it was fun!  She understood and followed the rules, she could do enough math to get by, and she didn’t have a crying freak out when things weren’t going her way.  She’s also been begging to play Uno a couple of times a day, and working on her knitting here and there. I wish I could get her to read more for fun, but there’s been a bit of that, too.  She and Carl have also been playing elaborate games together; role playing or using the stuffed animals, dolls and Legos.  They also put on shows for us often.  And then, just when you think we’ve achieved a certain level of household peace, harmony and ability to self-entertain, they go back to fighting and yelling and begging me to turn on a video for them.