Holpineville

The Bachelor

Carl is showing more interest in letters, sounds, and writing, albeit in his own slightly bizarre way.  For instance, Rod says Carl asked him to spell “force field” as they were driving today.  

A couple of days ago, Carl and I were talking about how to spell a couple of easy words, and tracing the “n” in Ben in the air with our fingers.  Then Carl asked how to write “domestic cat.”  I told him it was complicated and he’d need to get some paper, which he did.  So I slowly sounded it out for him, and helped him remember how to write the letters in “domestic.” 

Then we moved on to “cat.”  Carl drew the C, the letter he knows best, of course, but backwards, starting at the bottom.  Then he pointed out a couple of bumps toward the middle of the C.  “It looks like cat ears!”  And he starts doodling them in.  “No, a cat head!” and he keeps going… “Now it’s a cat body…chasing a mouse.”  Finally, the C drawing is complete and we move on to the A, which gets converted to a tent.   

It is intriguing to me, how he’s in a place between drawing and writing.  Carl’s journal work at school is all drawing, but the teacher says he tells the story to himself as he draws (complete with missile fire and light saber sounds).  At home, he sometimes has me write words in text bubbles for the little guys in his drawings, like in the comics.  He’s fascinated with some junior graphic novels we’ve been checking out of the library (which Ruby can read to him…the librarian says they’re a popular gateway drug for budding readers).

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Current Events Recap:  Ruby tested negative for flu and strep, but stayed very sick until Friday, when it all morphed into a cold.  So, she missed the end of school, but recovered in time to go on a sleepover Friday night.  Carl went, too, which meant that Rod and I had impromptu date night: sushi and Star Trek. Yes, I was being nice to Rod, wasn’t I?  It wasn’t so bad for a science fiction/adventure/explosions movie.  Of course, the kids were exhausted crabby zombies this afternoon.  Trade offs, trade offs.

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Today, Rod took the kids to a playdate at a park for the kids in Carl’s class. One of Carl’s classmates, S, complained to Rod that Carl is mean to her at school.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, S,” says Rod.  “What does Carl do, to be mean to you?” 

“He says he won’t marry me,” pouts S.

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For the record, Carl said last week that he won’t have any babies, either.  I think he was mostly worried about getting “fat” (pregnant).  He seemed pretty relieved when I told him boys couldn’t give birth, so he wouldn't have to get pregnant, but I took pains to stress that daddies have to take care of their babies, so he shouldn’t help make any until he’s ready. 

Then Ruby got confused about how you can have babies if you're not married, which leads down a wandering path towards adoption, infertility treatments and her friends with same-sex parents.  I realized that I have a gift for leaving my children more confused at the end of the discussion than they were at the beginning.  But at least it was an interesting dinner.

Summer O' Fun Starts Now

Where to start, where to start? Once again, things happened too fast for me to write them all down for you.  Here are some random, unrelated paragraphs for you, in lieu of a real and coherent post:

Ruby just came home early from school with a fever.  She says her throat really hurts, but the nurse said that because Ruby’s throat looks fine to her, and because Ruby wasn’t coughing, Ruby didn’t need to go get the swine flu test.  Then Ruby coughed in the car.  So we’ll see how it goes, but maybe I should go get her tested just to know for sure?  The only thing a positive flu test might change is my travel plans next weekend. 

• I brought Carl home too, because I couldn’t find him another ride, and I didn’t want to have to make two trips to school.  He was wearing wet pants, apparently from an accident hours and hours ago that he didn’t want to tell anyone about.  Both he and Ruby have decided lately that going to the bathroom to pee is just too time consuming and dull for them, leading to the predictable consequence.  Let’s hope they figure it out soon, because I am too old to be dealing with pee pee accidents now.

• Friday night was the annual song and dance performance at the kids’ school and also their spring carnival.  Rod helped set up the carnival in the heat all afternoon, and I took a death-defying shift at the Throw Darts at Balloons Station. 
• Saturday was our seventeenth wedding anniversary, which Rod and I both neglected to do anything special about.  We’ll try and get a real date night later.  I started writing you a nice list of Good Things about Being Married, but I ran out after “Good sex basically anytime I feel like it so long as my kids are otherwise occupied,” and that was probably too much information anyway.  I attribute us making it seventeen years in mostly blissful happiness to amazing luck and a bit of tenacity.  May we hold it together seventeen more.
• Otherwise, this weekend we spent a lot of time swimming: at the pool on Saturday and Monday (festive holiday barbecue included), and at the beach on Sunday.  Carl has discovered the diving board.  His swimming form still isn’t the greatest, so to his great dismay he is required to take a grownup with him to the deep end.  But, he can jump in and swim to the ladder with his face in the water, which is solid progress.  Ruby is upset because despite a Whole Entire Hour of group lessons a month ago, she seems to have forgotten how to dive in head first. The whole “not everything is easy to do the first time.  I’m sure you’ll get it with a little more practice” speech I gave her didn’t sink in well.  I think I’ll try to find both kids a few more lessons this summer to help things along.  
• Sunday we went to the beach with a bunch of friends for kid surfing lessons and general amusement.  Ruby tried very hard but only made it up to balancing on her knees on the surfboard.  Carl wasn’t interested in trying at all.  I thought it would be his kind of daredevil, fast-moving fun sport, but I hadn’t accounted for the intensive engineering focus he brings to sandcastle construction.  For about three hours, Carl couldn’t be distracted from the digging and filling.  We had to force him to drink something.  Finally, we were preparing to leave when he suddenly discovered the ocean in front of him and played in the surf for another hour or so. 
• Summer seems to be Carl’s favorite time of year.  All his favorite foods (watermelon, ice cream, hot dogs, corn on the cob) are abundantly available, there’s pool time and beach time and no school.  It makes up a bit for how much I hate summer.
• Carl and I spent a lot of time playing with Legos this weekend.  I did sort of enjoy myself, so perhaps we are related after all.
• There are one and a half days left of school, except of course Ruby will probably miss it all.   
• My friend who has been trying to get pregnant for years and years finally managed it.  I have somehow been appointed her official doctor visit buddy, and we have been there five times in two and a half weeks.  It may be a long eight months, but I still think good-news ultrasounds are really cool, even when they aren’t mine.
• Ruby says she loves me more than the universe.  This is far more romantic than anything Rod has come up with.
•  Carl observed, in the context of a discussion of his friends of various sizes and how tall he is compared to most of them, that I am fat. I said “yes, you’re right, I am fat….kind of.”  Carl replied, “no, Mom, you’re really fat.” The refreshing thing is that he doesn’t yet see anything morally wrong with being fat, so it was just an observation.  If only I could keep him that way.

A Car Ride is Like Truth Serum for Kids

Carl had a playdate this afternoon, so Ruby was my only passenger heading home from school.  I haven't had much one on one time with either kid lately, but boy, am I going to have to plan some.  Guess what I found out in just ten minutes:

1) Ruby wants to go to high school in Thailand. (One of her classroom aides this year is an adult Thai exchange student).

2) One of her male friends asked her if she has a boyfriend. I think she didn't really understand what he meant, but she did seem a little flustered about the whole thing.

3)What Ruby likes best about each of a long list of her friends. ("I like X because he's silly like me, and Y because he's very serious, and Z makes up funny jokes, and A is just so fun to play with, etc.").

4) She knows all about Faceb@@k, G00gle, and eB@ay.  I was a bit surprised to hear her talking about the first one, I admit.

5) Ruby likes to listen when grownups are talking because sometimes you learn interesting things.  (Well, I guess I already knew that.  I told her I do it, too, and she's smart to have figured that out. You are hereby warned to watch your mouth when she's around.)

Back from Mommy Rehab

Carl took a break from clowning around with his friend on the way home from school yesterday to ask, in his most formal grown-up voice: “Did you enjoy your vacation time, Mom?”

“Why yes, Carl, I did,” I replied.

“Glad to hear it,” said the four year old.  Then he and his friend went back to gleefully eating penis-shaped Cheetos.

It was a glorious weekend away, filled with nothing of consequence: lots of hotel-provided cable TV (a treat for those of us in the too-cheap and/or too-busy for cable community); some beer; a low-fiber, high-fat diet; a mani & pedi; a couple of light-to-medium weight novels; a whole lot of walking around San Antonio; a chick flick; an art museum; a day of serious shopping; staying up late; and sleeping in.  The low point was talking to my sobbing children on Friday night, who were begging me to come home, and Rod with that “I am seriously cranky, things are tough here, you are not helping, and I don’t want to speak to you right now, or possibly ever” tone in his voice as he practically hung up on me.  However, I have had the benefit of feeling that way a time or two when he is out of town, and so I only let it make me sad for an evening. 

Other than a very rough Friday night, I think everyone here was fine without me.   Ruby discovered the joy of karaoke at a party on Saturday night, and her world may never be the same.  I hear they went to the children’s museum and rock climbing and swimming. They mostly ate out.  To his immense credit, Rod sounded normal all the other times on the phone.

The kids and I had a conference before I left about care and feeding household plants and animals. Ruby even made me write out separate cards with instructions as to the cat food, tadpoles (oh yes!  We have some again this year, because I am a Really Nice Mommy who also believes it’s an educational thing to do), birdfeeders, and plants.  [Confession: I have not done a good enough job of making these things the children’s responsibilities, so it was some extra work.]  It appears that they remembered to feed the cats at least a couple of times and it rained on the plants.  I had to do a little remedial work on the tadpoles and the birdfeeders when I got back, however.  We are going to work on Household Responsibilities over the summer, yes we are. 

So.  I am sitting in a messy house, with PMS, tired from a workout so minor it doesn’t even deserve the name.  Swine flu has felled half the children in the neighborhood, but hasn’t made it to my house yet.  The kids have seven days of school remaining.  I have a lot of paperwork to do. Our wedding anniversary is this weekend; as usual, I have absolutely no good ideas about how to celebrate it, nor do I have any great Memorial Day weekend plans.   I am thinking of getting some hens for the backyard; Rod did not say “Hell, No” when I mentioned it in a tentative way, so I am thinking about it deeper and consulting with all my chicken-owning friends, of which there are surprisingly many. 

 

My Son is a Genius

I had an end-of-year conference with Carl’s teacher yesterday.  She says he’s doing just great and has made huge strides this year.  He chooses appropriate work and goes at it with appropriate diligence. He’s interacting well with the other kids, to the point where she thinks he’s modeling good behavior for some of the less compliant others.  He has a big vocabulary and uses it well.  He is in great shape academically for next year.

She says Carl likes journal time, to the point where she sometimes has to ask him to stop and move on to other work.  He’s not writing yet, but she says he narrates while he draws in it, and that’s good.  He’s starting to work on learning letters, although he won’t be working on the all-important moveable alphabet work until next year.  The teacher suggests that over the summer we keep Carl journaling, because it helps with dexterity, discuss books to encourage reading comprehension, keep giving him responsibilities around the house, try some fun but educational activities, and encourage any interest he shows in reading/writing. 

The teacher seems pretty overwhelmed by all she has to get done these days: report cards, parent conferences, getting the kindergartners up to the requisite levels, testing three different grades on multiple subjects, end of the year activities… to the point where she says she’s not able to devote as much time to the younger kids’ lessons (including Carl’s) as she would like. I completely understand, but I am also  not so thrilled to hear that. 

I am walking out the door to my weekend Mommy’s Going Away trip.  It should be fun, although one of the friends I am going with has some things happening in her life this week that affect the festivity level.  The kids seem sadder about me leaving this time than they have before, but since I have done it before, I know they’ll be fine.  And, I’m not going so far.

Preschool Tuition is Such a Good Value

Interesting facts Carl has told us lately:

"Columbus was the first president of Houston!"

"The sun is the biggest star on Earth!"

"The asteroid made the dinosaurs all live in the desert." 

Oh yes, Carl is all about interesting facts.  To be fair, 90% of what he tells us is true: armadillos do jump when they are frightened, for example. But the wrong ones are a lot funnier.

Ruby is happy to correct Carl, and to make up her own scientific truth to suit her needs, but her intellectual curiosity is more about why people do things, should they have done it or not, the cause and effect chain.  

Breathing Room

Finally.  I am at the tail end of a long period of overscheduling:

• Big two-day Montessori meeting last weekend (yeah, honestly, I might not have gone if I hadn’t been on the planning committee), and several other school meetings I missed because of all the stuff below.

• The surprise Swine Flu vacation day.

• Four nights of dance-rehearsals and performance at a place across town, which also included helping Ruby put together her costume, providing large quantities of healthy food for the dance company's groaning massive snack/dinner table, chipping in for teacher gifts, coordinating transportation for the four little dancers of our immediate acquaintance and play dates for their siblings, buying the congratulatory flowers for my little star, checking the camera batteries, and whatnot.  It was a terrific show.  Ruby was great and wants to do it again next year, and to be involved in the theater part-time when she grows up (because she still wants to be a veterinarian, too, see?).  Anyway, this place is completely worthy of anyone’s support: approachable and not-stuffy, innovative children’s programs in dance/theater/drumming/music that are available without cost, good movement classes for adults, great teachers, creative art.

• Ruby’s school project.  It turned out okay, I think, but after all the tears she shed over it and the stories I heard from other parents, I'll be offering some constructive feedback to the powers that be. Her teacher worked with her to crystallize everything down into Ruby making a piece of Montessori work about the fundamental needs of cats, and a diorama. 

• This morning, I got up early to sell carnations at school.  For Mother’s Day!  For teacher gifts!  Because the PTO is trying to fix up the playground/community park on campus.  And someone had to do it.  Plus, if it involves annoying the custodian, it always seems to become my job.  Everyone else loves this woman and thinks she’s the sweetest thing ever, and yet every time I have to ask her for something, she ends up chewing me out.  Today, it was about the tables no one told her we would need until I asked politely where they were.  Anyway, I missed my opportunity to have Carl serve me at his class breakfast because of the flower sale, and I don’t think my kids are buying me any flowers.  Which is okay, because I prefer tulips or peonies.  Although carnations en masse can be attractive, and I bought some for the grumpy custodian. 

I have a rant about Mother’s Day and how I don’t like it because it mostly ends up being another chore on some mom's to-do list, and also because my mom is still dead, but I’ll spare you.  I told Rod my present this year is my upcoming weekend away, and whatever the kids make at school.  I’m almost sure I’ll get one of Ruby and Carl’s signature Surprise Breakfasts out of the deal, too.   If you are the only female with small children on the planet who hasn’t yet been sent this video, though, you might enjoy it.  I thought about sending it to the grandmas, but it’s more geared toward those still mired in day-to-day mommy-grind.

But with my Mini-Busy Season winding down, suddenly there’s time to think about what to do, and I’m strangely at loose ends this morning.  Sure, I need to take care of a few things: brush the cat lying next to me. Put away two months of clean laundry. Return the library books, dump the recycling, do something about my complexion problems, exercise more, file/toss/shred some piles of papers, get someone to figure out how much termite damage we have and fix it…. but the deadlines are over for a few days.

I’m taking the kids to a hot and sweaty outdoor birthday party this afternoon, and tonight an artist friend has a big-deal opening.  I forgot to get a babysitter, so I’ll have to flip a coin with Rod over who gets to go.  Or maybe we’ll just collapse in a tired and cranky heap and see the show later.   This weekend, the kids have nature class and we'll go swimming.

How is your weekend shaping up?

Here is Ruby in costume.  She was supposed to wear blue and yellow, creatively:

Speedy Recovery

Thank you, CDC, for saying that we don't have to close school.  Kids are going back tomorrow! [And, contrast that to the 5 a.m. phone call telling us to expect 14 days off.] 

Which is good, because it's a crazy week and this was maybe not my best day ever.  Also, the sick child is apparently not in one of my kids' classes, because the Health Department has been only phoning parents in one of the other rooms. 

What Did I Tell You?

The kids' school is suddenly closed for the next two weeks because someone has a nice confirmed case of the H1N1. 

I am busy rearranging my life accordingly. And mourning my lost Mommy-cation: Rod says I can still go and he will take time off, but I am almost certain my friend's husband is not going to be equally accommodating.

Of course, Ruby and Carl are fine.  (Thus far.  Knock on wood, etc.) We don't know the name of the sicko yet, but surprisingly, it's not either of the little friends who generally catch every virus that comes to town. 

Between this and the hurricane, Ruby's missing almost a month of first grade. 

Sometimes I think about home schooling.  I guess I'm getting my big chance, but I'm just not prepared for it to be NOW.  Ack, ack, ack.

Why contracts signed by kids don’t count

Ruby has been asking about living in our next door rental house when she’s grown up.  I said that would be good, because then we could visit each other a lot, and I told her about the time I used to live down the street from my grandmother. But I also explained that when you grow up, it’s sometimes nice to have your own house to decorate, where you can choose your own pets, and have your own friends over whenever you want, and stuff.  Also, I said that she might want to move somewhere far away, but I’d always come visit her. 

Ruby thought for a minute and then said, “No, I don’t want to live faraway.  I’d miss you.  I think living on the same street would be a good idea.  I really love you, Mom, and I want to be near you.”

“Okay!  Sounds good to me!”  That’s a plan!”  It’s exactly what this mom wants, and I know it's the exact opposite of what Ruby's going to want in say, five years.  I resisted the urge to ask her to memorialize it in writing before a notary.